that last post ("we're here again") was actually written 1 month and 18 days ago and for 1 month and 18 days it sat, unpublished in my drafts and for 1 month and 18 days, i would see it and turn on my heels, heading to another corner of the interwebs. i couldn't face the post. i couldn't face the fact that i had had another miscarriage. lost another baby.
to describe a miscarriage would be futile. the heartache and devastation or even the hope for new life that is also accompanied by a pit-of-your-stomach fear that it all might happen again. every feeling, every ache is so deep that there are no words to accurately explain and describe it. it can be crippling and is definitely life-altering, but the hope... it's there and gets stronger every day and crawling out of the darkness has filled me with so much light.
there's been a shift in my body. a clarity in my soul.
it took me 1 month and 18 days to write this post, but that doesn't mean that the healing is complete. it just means that i'm ready to move forward in the most positive light that i can. i owe my daughter and my husband as much.
i owe myself as much.
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