apple crisp.

i am obsessed with yummly. obsessed. a coworker turned me onto it not quite a week ago and my life has been changed ever since. for those who don't have a coworker in the know… yummly is basically pinterest, but just food. just food. it's kind of amazing.
yesterday morning, after my baby had gone down for her morning nap and before my husband had woken up from his blissful, late, glorious, slumber (envious i am), i had a moment need to bake. i had some apples that i was going to use for a baked apple dessert, but never had, so i looked up a quick apple crisp recipe. it's totally normal to eat apple crisp for breakfast. it's basically oatmeal. basically. the recipe that i ended up finding was adapted from happymoneysaver and it was damn good.

first…

apples, butter, brown sugar, flour, oats, cinnamon, nutmeg, apple pie spice, lemon (not pictured)

 per usual, i took liberty with the recipe starting with the apples. it calls for 2.5 cups, but i had 4 apples, which amounted to more than that and i don't think i would've used less at all, but i like an apple-y crisp. i also like having a variance of textures, so i typically cut my apples in different widths. next time, i think i'll do more thicker pieces to thinner, as my husband was saying it "wasn't dry enough".

 i added the juice of one little lemon and about a tsp or 2 of apple pie spice (just enough to slightly coat the naked apples).

mix the spices, oats, flour, and brown sugar.

stir in the cup (!) of melted butter...

till it looks like this. it's very much like a cookie dough.

dollop onto of your apples and put into the 375 degree oven for 30-40 minutes, until golden brown. i had mine on a sheet tray just in case there was any spillover. there wasn't… but i wouldn't take the chance.

ta-da!!! so good. so, so good. 

if i had my druthers, i would've whipped up some cream with a little powdered sugar and vanilla or maple extract… or a big ol' scoop of ice cream. because adding dairy to the equation is only rounding out the whole balanced breakfast thing… right? 

i shaved my legs!

i shaved my legs last night! oh the glory. to think of how i took advantage of the pre-baby freedom that is shaving your legs for oh so many years. going days and days on end without even glancing at my razor because i didn't feel like it or had my period or was sticking it to my husband and now, NOW i look longingly at my razor as i race through the wash, rinse, repeat cycle a few times before Lu starts wailing. but last night… last night!… my husband got her ready for bed and hung out with her and i got to shave my legs! yes, there were a few interruptions, but overall… i shaved my legs last night!

right now i'm...

yawwwwning. i am just so damn tired right now.

watching the people's couch. and dying. this show is too much in such a good way.

happy that my baby is asleep. thank you jesus! haha. but really. poor baby hasn't been feeling well and it took her 3 times of falling asleep on my chest, waiting a while, putting her in her bed, and waking up 3 minutes later before we got here… asleep for a half hour now! yeay!

thinking about being more organized this holiday season. ugh, i feel like this season just sneaks up on me every year and by january 2nd i'm left like,"uhhhhh whaaaaa", and regretting the fact that i didn't prepare more and vowing that this coming holiday season i'm going to do better and 12 months later… "uhhhhh whaaaaa". it's the worst. this year, though, this year is going to be turning point. i'm going to make a list and i'm going to check that list twice (tee!) and i'm going to rock this season like it's never been rocked! (picture me in my dark room with no expression on my face, but in my head… i'm really skinny and jumping for joy).

still laughing at the people's couch.

thinking that i can hear something outside my window… BECAUSE IT'S SO WARM THAT OUR WINDOWS ARE OPEN. ON NOVEMBER 3RD.

going to bed.

i made it.

well, i made it through my first week back from maternity leave and i didn't die. no, it really wasn't bad at all. i have a great circle of friends and the days are busy with work, laughing, and little bit of gossip and i'm sure that if i were in a career that i loved, this would've been an amazing transition, but… i'm not and what last week really showed me was that my desire to be a stay at home mom is strong. like really strong. i want to cultivate a life for my family. i want to teach my children everyday. i want to watch and experience their beginnings in this world and i know that you can do that as a working mother, but it's different. you have to learn to share your child and those teachings and those experiences with someone else.
kevan and i haven't had the final conversation yet, so i'm not going to count it out, but me staying home… although wonderful and amazing and my right now dream… would mean a change in our lifestyle. right now, we have a pretty good cushion. one that we can rely on, that doesn't leave us with financial stress and that's a huge thing. and me staying home wouldn't mean that we would be on the breadline by any means, but big trips and house projects and filling my cart at baby gap just wouldn't be as frequent and that can be a hard reality to get used to.
so for the time being, we are where we are. i'm using a ton of PTO every week so that i can be with my girl as much as i can and we're counting down the clock till the ball drops and the new year has begun. our deadline for a decision is approaching and although i know what i'd like, it may not be the best for our family and when all is said and done, what i truly want is what's best for us.