apple crisp.

i am obsessed with yummly. obsessed. a coworker turned me onto it not quite a week ago and my life has been changed ever since. for those who don't have a coworker in the know… yummly is basically pinterest, but just food. just food. it's kind of amazing.
yesterday morning, after my baby had gone down for her morning nap and before my husband had woken up from his blissful, late, glorious, slumber (envious i am), i had a moment need to bake. i had some apples that i was going to use for a baked apple dessert, but never had, so i looked up a quick apple crisp recipe. it's totally normal to eat apple crisp for breakfast. it's basically oatmeal. basically. the recipe that i ended up finding was adapted from happymoneysaver and it was damn good.

first…

apples, butter, brown sugar, flour, oats, cinnamon, nutmeg, apple pie spice, lemon (not pictured)

 per usual, i took liberty with the recipe starting with the apples. it calls for 2.5 cups, but i had 4 apples, which amounted to more than that and i don't think i would've used less at all, but i like an apple-y crisp. i also like having a variance of textures, so i typically cut my apples in different widths. next time, i think i'll do more thicker pieces to thinner, as my husband was saying it "wasn't dry enough".

 i added the juice of one little lemon and about a tsp or 2 of apple pie spice (just enough to slightly coat the naked apples).

mix the spices, oats, flour, and brown sugar.

stir in the cup (!) of melted butter...

till it looks like this. it's very much like a cookie dough.

dollop onto of your apples and put into the 375 degree oven for 30-40 minutes, until golden brown. i had mine on a sheet tray just in case there was any spillover. there wasn't… but i wouldn't take the chance.

ta-da!!! so good. so, so good. 

if i had my druthers, i would've whipped up some cream with a little powdered sugar and vanilla or maple extract… or a big ol' scoop of ice cream. because adding dairy to the equation is only rounding out the whole balanced breakfast thing… right? 

i shaved my legs!

i shaved my legs last night! oh the glory. to think of how i took advantage of the pre-baby freedom that is shaving your legs for oh so many years. going days and days on end without even glancing at my razor because i didn't feel like it or had my period or was sticking it to my husband and now, NOW i look longingly at my razor as i race through the wash, rinse, repeat cycle a few times before Lu starts wailing. but last night… last night!… my husband got her ready for bed and hung out with her and i got to shave my legs! yes, there were a few interruptions, but overall… i shaved my legs last night!

right now i'm...

yawwwwning. i am just so damn tired right now.

watching the people's couch. and dying. this show is too much in such a good way.

happy that my baby is asleep. thank you jesus! haha. but really. poor baby hasn't been feeling well and it took her 3 times of falling asleep on my chest, waiting a while, putting her in her bed, and waking up 3 minutes later before we got here… asleep for a half hour now! yeay!

thinking about being more organized this holiday season. ugh, i feel like this season just sneaks up on me every year and by january 2nd i'm left like,"uhhhhh whaaaaa", and regretting the fact that i didn't prepare more and vowing that this coming holiday season i'm going to do better and 12 months later… "uhhhhh whaaaaa". it's the worst. this year, though, this year is going to be turning point. i'm going to make a list and i'm going to check that list twice (tee!) and i'm going to rock this season like it's never been rocked! (picture me in my dark room with no expression on my face, but in my head… i'm really skinny and jumping for joy).

still laughing at the people's couch.

thinking that i can hear something outside my window… BECAUSE IT'S SO WARM THAT OUR WINDOWS ARE OPEN. ON NOVEMBER 3RD.

going to bed.

i made it.

well, i made it through my first week back from maternity leave and i didn't die. no, it really wasn't bad at all. i have a great circle of friends and the days are busy with work, laughing, and little bit of gossip and i'm sure that if i were in a career that i loved, this would've been an amazing transition, but… i'm not and what last week really showed me was that my desire to be a stay at home mom is strong. like really strong. i want to cultivate a life for my family. i want to teach my children everyday. i want to watch and experience their beginnings in this world and i know that you can do that as a working mother, but it's different. you have to learn to share your child and those teachings and those experiences with someone else.
kevan and i haven't had the final conversation yet, so i'm not going to count it out, but me staying home… although wonderful and amazing and my right now dream… would mean a change in our lifestyle. right now, we have a pretty good cushion. one that we can rely on, that doesn't leave us with financial stress and that's a huge thing. and me staying home wouldn't mean that we would be on the breadline by any means, but big trips and house projects and filling my cart at baby gap just wouldn't be as frequent and that can be a hard reality to get used to.
so for the time being, we are where we are. i'm using a ton of PTO every week so that i can be with my girl as much as i can and we're counting down the clock till the ball drops and the new year has begun. our deadline for a decision is approaching and although i know what i'd like, it may not be the best for our family and when all is said and done, what i truly want is what's best for us.

endless fall.

this, my friends, this has been one of the best Minnesota falls on record. ever. like forever ever.
it's now october 27th and it's raining! it's so warm out that it's raining! and it's going to be in the 60s this weekend! 66 on monday! so much excitement! to take advantage of this, my parents, Kevan, Lu, and i went on a little jaunt around the countryside to a few pumpkin patches this past weekend. it was so much fun to just jump in the car with an idea of where we might want to go and then follow the wind. when the first place that we stopped at wasn't exactly what we were looking for, on to the next! we ended up at this farm/vineyard, did a little wine tasting, bought some stuff, took some pictures, and i got bit by a horse! a horse i tells ya! now… the photo evidence:

my little family.

they're my favorite.

one week.

the moment that i've been dreading for the past 11 weeks is upon us. in one week from today, i will be waking up and leaving my daughter to go back to work. ugh. i think i might just call in sick… for the next 18 years. honestly. the thought of missing something, of not being here when she's sad, not hearing her little, bitty voice and seeing that dimpled smile. i mean…

i just can't handle her! she's got the spunkiest little personality with the sweetest little smile (and a dimple ta boot!). she talks all the time and thinks that momma and daddy are the funniest people around, aside from her grandpa Dolan of course. she's my best girl and it might literally kill me to leave her. i'm just going to keep telling myself that it's only until january. maybe that'll make it easier. maybe.

right now i'm...

trying to cherish these last 7 days with my baby before going back to work. these have been the 3 most life changing months of my life and to think that i won't be spending every moment of the day with my little wiggle worm is gut wrenching… which is probably why we haven't 100% nailed down child care… which is probably why my anxiety is through the roof… which is probably why i have no patience for my husband. damn. sorry Kevan!

watching Harry Potter weekend on acbFamily. hot damn i love this series. did you know that my little Lu was born on JK Rowling's 50th birthday? it was fate, i believe.

thinking i might take a nap.

wondering where Winnie's brush is and hoping i didn't leave it at the cabin. i really feel like i've used it since we got back, but i can't find it anywhere. wah.

hoping that Lu doesn't nap too late. her morning nap was postponed a bit and i know you're not supposed to wake a sleeping baby, but sometimes i'm tempted to just to keep her on a schedule. boo.

just finding out that we're having people over for dinner. i think we should grill. it's gorgeous out… especially for october 18th… and i'd like to take advantage of it. or maybe do german- spaetzle, red cabbage, beer braised brats. decisions decisions.

really sad that i watched the whole Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries on netflix. if you haven't watched it… run to your couch, put up your feet, and get ready to binge.

going to go take a nap. opposed to my previous statement… hopefully Lu naps for at least 30 more minutes. prayer hands emoji.